OK, so I leave Thursday morning at 6.45am. Wrapping up my job priorities, personal life, and preparing for the hike has very much been a challenge to me. Fun, but fun like I'd like to pull my hair out.
I think about it, whatt's funny, I'm going to be coming back and be in a better position than how I left - credit cards are paid off and closed; I pulled my credit report and found collections, now paid; applied for my student loans; sold everything - bed, TV, my sweet Volvo, donated most of my clothes; will come back to very a organized financial sitch; overall I feel very good about everything. Set up a place to live, coming back to money, and if I finish in time Moosejaw may hold my job for me. No guarantees, but just knowing that I feel good. Like my hard work is appreciated. Love it!
Still though, I feel very nervous for the outcome of everything. I have listed what I'd like to get out of the trip, but I realize that there really is some investment in finishing. I don't think about what ifs, that's not me. However, I am hoping that what is driving me now, will be there. If there is one thing about me that I know - I don't give up, I get bored. That was me before. This trip really symbolizes so much for my inner change. Among other things, planning, Courage, learning, purpose, and God come to mind initially.
I started to think about everyone I'm going to miss: my buddies Rob, Ian, and Cass. My peeps at work. And most of all my Grandma, and my brothers Matthew and Andrew, along with the rest of my family. I know I'll be better for this though. I'll be a better everything for this.
| To live with fear and not be afraid is the final test of maturity - Edward Weeks | |||||||||||||||
